i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize