And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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