i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
