I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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