wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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