i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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