I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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