I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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