Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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