those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
