no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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