Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
