Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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