Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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