Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
love makes seman taste better
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
