i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize