We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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