just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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