I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
