just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
