you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
