totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
