I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
