Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He has the fingertips of a God
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