:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
