Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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