Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he thought i was a dude.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have fence marks all over my body
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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