eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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