Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize