You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
