Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
