she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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