Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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