respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
