The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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