we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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