I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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