addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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