Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm passing your future prison.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
