You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
please come you make the beer taste better
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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