I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
