If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
