just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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