I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
