Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
