I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
