if i can run in heels then i can drive
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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