Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
