Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
