I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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