i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
