I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
