she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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