You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
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Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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