OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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