I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize