dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
