Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
