I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
