I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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