she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just want to make out with him forever
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
