mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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