Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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