i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
