This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
