just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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