what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
