i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
