If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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